Last weekend something very funny happened to me.
I had just got off the bus and was walking to work, when a car slowed down alongside me. I don’t tend to walk close to the road, so I didn’t really notice until the driver said, ‘Excuse me.’ I turned to see a man in his 30s in a silver BMW. Assuming he wanted directions, I walked towards his car. Then he said to me, ‘I just thought you look quite nice and wondered if you wanted to go for a drink some time.’
I was slightly taken aback. I was gearing up to say, ‘I don’t know the area very well,’ or, ‘yes it’s the first left then second right.’ Instead I just about managed to say, ‘I’m sorry, I’m married,’ and flashed my ring at him. He then drove off.
I carried on walking up the road, slightly confused about what had just happened, and (apologies if you are reading this), then started to laugh. I texted hubby straight away telling him my hilarious tale and he also laughed. Did you laugh when you read my tale?
Now this kind of thing is pretty rare for me, so it was a bit flattering! I tend to think of myself as an old married woman, being 25 and married for 4 years.
I felt very self-conscious the rest of the day. The guy had driven up behind me so would only have seen my back. Did that mean my dress was too short so he was tempted? Hubby helpfully said he might have been driving towards me, seen me and turned around to ask me out!
Now I do try to dress nicely, but not provocatively. I know how men’s minds work and therefore automatically jumped to the conclusion that what I’m wearing isn’t suitable. If hubby thinks an outfit is too short or too revealing or something, I won’t wear it, and I’m quite a harsh critic in this area myself – until I got married I wouldn’t wear a skirt or dress that was even an inch shorter than my knee. This was partly due to a lack of self-confidence in my appearance, but mainly because very short skirts can be a problem for men.
You may think I’m crazy or something, which is fair enough. But I don’t want men to lust after me. And I especially don’t want Christian men to be led astray because the hem of my skirt is 1inch too short. (Please let me be clear – I’m not saying that I have amazing legs!) And I know I don’t always get it right, I’m only human!
For some helpful advice in this area, I recommend the girltalk blog. This is written by some lovely Christian ladies in America, and I’ve put links below to the sections on beauty and modesty, plus their ‘modesty heart check.’ You’ll see that dressing modestly is a matter of the heart, so the principle also applies to men.